we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
