He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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