i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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