That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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