dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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