dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
