I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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