They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
