How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
