There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
