Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
