he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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