That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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