Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
