Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
