i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
