if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
