; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize
