Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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