How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize