i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
