You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
