hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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