Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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