drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize