So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
