Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
