Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
