I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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