i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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