Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
