i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
