Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize