I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
