Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Damn victory sex feels great
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
