is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
