you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
