Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
