i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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