I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
