just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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