STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
