Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
