How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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