How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Two words: blizzard sex
i need some magic done to my vagina
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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