are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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