all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Randomize