I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
