Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
