Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
