My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
