she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
