wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
