Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize