I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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