i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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