Bisexual people are plain selfish.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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