It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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