remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
