Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize