i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
