THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
