I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
