How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
