I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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