a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
