Nicole vs. Life
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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