He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
