You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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