and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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