Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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