yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
